Merry Christmas, my dear friends!!!!

It is christmas time again.... my favourite season of the year..... although this year I am not able to reward myself as much as before (cos no bonus... on no-pay leave... :( )I am feeling extremely blessed and loved.....hee....

A strange phenomenon had happened this year..... I have continuously been receiving gifts of things that I already owned.... some of my poor friends had to exchange my gifts for a new item that is unique to me..... it is also through this strange experience that I realised how blessed I am.... it made me realised that I already own most of the things that I really liked.... also.... it allowed me to realise that how great my friends are..... they actually bothered to spend time thinking about what I would like for chirstmas!!! In a commercialized world like ours, gift-giving had lost much of its meaning for it is just like a meaningless gesture... everyone is in a buying frenzy and gift exchange has became like a part of a social custom that is kept just for conforming to the environment.... I really appreciate the thoughts that all my friends put into the purchase of my gifts.....whether it is a gift that I favour or even whether there is a gift or not is not important as it is really the thought that counts... thank you all my friends for keeping me in your thoughts...... here's to a great 2008 to all of us..... Merry Christmas and keeping you all in my thoughts!!!! :)

Head over heels with my fictional human darling!!!! :)

"Love is a mental illness... "

God is unfair..... he really is.... how can he create someone that is so perfect... talented.... and amazing!!!! I am just back from Lee Hom's floating on water concert.... and he is just undescribly fantastic.... each time I go to one of his performances, I come back believing that perfection exists in our imperfect world..... (and to think I was still pretty lethargic and unenthastic about attending the concert this afternoon...)

I watched the concert at a close range (the distance is probably about the length of my room).... he is so near yet so far.... looking kind of happier (he revealed that he is out of his role... hehe)....belting out one after another of his classic compositions.......playing musical chairs with his musical instruments going from keyboards to acoustic guitar to baby grand to drums... engaging his audience and at the same time getting totally absorbed into performing for the crowd...... looking absolutely wonderful (although a bit tired... he commented that he is actually having a flu and gastric upset......sigh.... and still performing to such a high standard...speechless... )in his lovely white tee that says "love is a mental illness"... (I think I love his fashion designer's sense of humour and insight... wondering if love will become a label in the DSM-V which is rumoured to be out soon.... )

He never fail to amaze me again and again with his performance.... in his case... the best is really yet to be.... each time you think that that must be one of the best performances you have ever attended.... the next concert is even better..... if I am limited to jsut one concert this lifetime... I think I will opt to attend his.... since I am not limited... I shall opt to attend many of his concerts..... please do come back soon.... I miss your performance already......

For those who missed it and who are interested.... I will post up the videos if there is a kind hearted soul who would tell me how to do so... in the meanwhile... just enjoy the few pictures I have!!! hehe....

The best is yet to be..........

I never fail to amaze myself....
In this past year in grad sch.....
Performing feats that I never knew I was capable of....
Changing my thesis topic for 3 times......
Each time understanding an area all over again......
Each time under immense time pressure.......
And yet always being able to come up with something.....

Writing an IRB proposal in 2 days....
Yet to know if the project will be approved.....

Doing well in statistics and taking numerous stats modules.....
Each time without a clue if I really know what is going on.....

I have no idea what is next...... hopefully... just a peaceful normal grad life for the next year.. no more surprises.... no more last minute shocks.... please..... no more.......

歲月不繞人

機靈的歲月
蔓延進攻
選擇這必勝策略

機靈的歲月
不知不絕
後知後絕已無策

機靈的歲月
殘酷無情
不僅在表層留下痕跡

殘酷的歲月
無孔不入
清醒的時刻
它已佔居了心靈深處

真實感代替夢想
天真無邪已移居
疑心病乘機定居
多愁善感也來借居

以往的平衡莫名其妙被搖晃
在混淆之中尋尋覓覓
渴望再度的穩定
脆弱的心靈卻已在間中傷痕纍纍

An invitation to OD on Lee Hom!!!! haha... ;P

Changes made indeed.....

He has changed,
A sense of jadedness radiated from his every pore;
He has changed,
A look of weariness sculptured his now slim face;
He has changed,
Lines of wisdom gathered around the windows of his soul.

His powerful voice no longer reached the pinnacles of performance;
His reponses practiced and masked.

Under the bright sun,
A wondrous piece of art he remains,
Yet dulled by shadows of melancholia.

Are you out of your role?
I wondered,
Have the pressures of life conquered you?
I questioned,
Is it just my perception and oversensitivity?
I pondered,
Are my high expectations and perfectionistic streaks ruling me?
I reflected.

These questions of doubts shall never be answered,
For we belong to different worlds;
Distanced further than the length of the milkyway,
Where my worries and concerns shall never reach;
Never shall it be my role to interfere,
I can only hope to send you good wishes from my corner.

Wishing you all the best;
Anticipating the next powerful presence of your charisma, passion, creativity and energy!

The doors of our life

Our lifes encompasses numerous doors awaiting to be opened,
Lured by the promises and mystique of what lies behind,
An endless struggle to achieve keys that gain us entry,
Unlocking these doors with greatest anticipation,
Forgetting that reality and promises are on orthogonal planes,
A result of contentment or disappointment befalls.

I miss....

Inspired by the entry in my friend's blog.....here goes:

I miss.......

Hanging out, shopping, chatting on the telephone like there is no tommorrow with my best friend;

MacDonald's and movies after class in JC;

Practicing statistics with an impatient tutor at Coffee Bean Holland V after sch;

Dreaming of great things ahead of me in my youth;

Attending pop concerts;

Room 9;

Sneaking away for tea, long chats, counselling each other at work;

Free travel to Europe every year;

Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan;

Whining;

Someone to blabble nonsense to;

Enjoying the process without concern for results;

Being impulsive, full of nonsense and getting away with it;

My piano;

Having tonnes of spare time for myself.............

My makeover!!!

霍達與嘉帝

剛剛看完了"換換愛"的最後第二集﹐ 感覺好難過﹗我喜歡的霍達﹐ 這個惡男在終于找到了他真正想報護的嘉蒂之後竟發現自己得了嚴重的病症而有可能死亡﹐就儘量想方法推開嘉帝為的就是要保護她﹐不要讓她在他死後難過. 他狠下心做了一堆接著一堆讓自己和嘉帝傷心欲絕的事﹐令著雙方常常以淚洗臉(這集幾乎三分之一的戲都在哭吧﹗讓我也一直陪著他們流眼淚!)。 人怎麼終是這樣矛盾? 想辦法要給人快樂﹐不要讓心愛的人難過但方法往往讓人心碎。要保護對方不被傷害﹐但傷對方最深的卻是自己。名義上說要保護對方就不與對方商量便替對方做出一大對自己認為是在保護對的決定。難道情到濃時就會忘卻對方其實也會有自己的看法﹐ 也有權力作出自己的抉擇嗎?為甚麼總是只以自己的角度去看待問題與情況呢? 真的覺得感情要畫上句點﹐ 要把對方推開是這麼易如反掌的嗎?與其在哪挖空心思想出怎麼去以自己愚蠢方式保護對方的方法﹐倒不如坦誠相對﹐一起在剩下的時間內共創出美好的回憶。生命本來就蘊藏著許多不測風雲﹐ 本就應該珍惜著擁有的時光﹐這不應該應為發現了甚麼不幸的事實而改變吧? 好希望這部劇的結局會是美滿的﹐ 希望霍達不會死(偶像劇甚麼時候開始這麼悲??為甚麼小美總是在劇里的一些莫名其妙的腦科怪病?這些病發生的可能性真的是好渺小! 小美﹐別繼續在戲里病下去了好嗎?)﹐期待著大結局﹗希望不會失望﹗

Check out my Slide Show!

Vanity and Fluffy

The vain Fluffy strikes again... haha..... Miss Fluffy went for a makeover today. The main reason I guess is she realises that age is catching up and hence, she should try to preserve some of her lovely looks on film.

It was a relatively fun experience. This is not my first makeover but the last time I did this was years ago when I was still an undergraduate. Time really flies yah... I have changed from the wrinkle free sweet young thing to this lady with lines in her face that needs touch ups!! (sigh) We started with makeup followed by hair do and finally photoshoot. Initially, the makeup artist was so fierce..... got reprimanded for a whole range of things including the heat on my face, my triple eyelids for the day (due to lack of sleep), my wrong colour foundation (truth is, my face was naked, I think she just could not accept the fact that I am so fair!) and the lack of arch of my eye brows. Luckily she managed to loosen up towards the middle of the session and was really detailed with my whole makeup and hairdo. I got a smoky eyes look with curls.... I felt really bad that she had to spend so much time correcting my triple eyelids and coaxing my extremely fine hair to curl (she used about half a can of hair spray on my hair to get it to stay curly.... yes... that is how fine my hair is...)she managed to complete my look only after my friend finished her first photo shoot. The girl in the mirror really do not look like me.... she looks like a doll with really big eyes (seriously, I have never realise that my eyes can be that big!!) The stylist must be pretty happy with her work too.. complimenting me again and again when she was done (heehee!) The next big step is posing for the photographer... it was actually kind of awkward to smile and pose just for the purpose of photograph taking (so fake!! :P) and the photographer just seemed to be able to differentiate between my fake smile and real smile. I think it is quite difficult to capture a good looking angle for me.... he started having a whole lot of theories like I can smile widely if he is taking from the left, cannot smile if he is taking from the right etc etc etc... and I have to look at different locations, tilt my body, turn my face etc etc... but I think he did managed to find the angle he was looking for,.. the shoots for the second outfit were nicely then the first!!!

I really did enjoy this lovely and fun experience (I do hope that I will not get addicted to photo taking again!!). It was really refreshing and amazing to see how one can look different just after makeup and the creative work of stylists. I am looking forward to another session in the future to see how much my looks will change with the years... heehee..... stay tuned for the end product!! (which is a mth later!!!!)Till then...ciao!!!!!

好奇與瞎扯

最近﹐ 因無聊而閱讀了一系列的八卦雜誌﹐ 不盡對這些狗仔隊開始有所敬佩。 他們真的好會瞎扯﹐ 無中生有﹐ 小題大做還富有創意。 時常能把黑說成白﹐ 構思著怎麼讓人對某話題起好奇與疑心。逼著與話題扯上關係的人也發揮創意出來澄清﹐仿彿誰的創意高﹐誰就能贏讀者的心。在這過程中﹐ 似乎遺忘了那些無辜被扯進八卦的人。他們的心情又是怎樣的呢? 他們的有心無意瞎扯也許已斷送了一個人的前途﹐ 傷害了一份真摯的情感﹐ 破壞了一場友誼。這些就為了滿足好奇心與提高銷售? 太殘忍了吧? 也許成名真的是需要付出代價的吧!!

改變自己

在人生的漫長道路中﹐ 相信經歷改變是必然的吧。 改變自己來適應環境﹐ 偉大些就立誓要改變世界﹐改變掉所有自己不滿的﹐ 又有一些不希望經歷改變但不知不絕的卻已慢慢的因環境而轉變。變化也不算是壞事﹐擁有了變化才能有機會進步但是無法適應變化卻會成為問題。

曾經以為自己不會變﹐ 以為一直會保持開朗﹑單純﹐過著簡單舒適的生活。 以為自己一直會保持毫無心機並用最真的自己去面對他人。漸漸的發現這只屬于我的夢想世界。在這種滿是虛偽﹐ 你欺我詐﹐ 你爭我奪的世界里﹐又有誰能出污泥而不染呢? 夢醒了﹐也踏入了真實世界﹐ 遵守著它的規則過著生活。 因為開始懂了﹐已無法回到過去那單純簡單的自己。這也許就是人生的過程吧。

感人至深的............

我終於收到了力宏最新的專輯"改變自己"。 非常的開心﹗因為新加坡這次沒引進台灣版﹐我只好在網路上預購了這張我期待已久的專輯。 得到了那些精美的預購品固然開心但終於可以聽到一個那麼棒的創作人用了好長的時間精心製作的新作更是令我雀躍萬分﹗

利用了一些時間專心的﹑用心的聽著。 作了几個結論。 我非常非常羨慕S.H.E. 的SELINA﹗﹗ 竟被力宏挑選一起合唱﹗﹗﹗另一個結論: 雖然﹐力宏看起來好像有老了一些﹐ 也沒以前那麼俊俏﹐ 但他的才華似乎只增無減。 雄厚的聲音和對音樂的熱忱把這張專輯所有的歌曲演繹的幾乎完美無缺。 雖然﹐ 這張專輯的專輯的創作有些些平凡(和以往比較)﹐但在平凡中有著它的特別。這些音樂用著它們獨特的音符﹐旋律﹐曲調以及詞來形容平凡人生的許多情景﹗音符就像故事書裡的文字﹐ 聽著歌便能感受到要被表達出的情感﹐ 故事的情景也一一慢慢地浮現在腦海﹗因好東西是值得分享的﹐我鼎力的推薦這張專輯! 哈哈﹗﹗

你的夢想是甚麼?

你的夢想是甚麼? 你懂嗎? 剛剛看完了"熱情仲夏"﹐ 對劇中的一句台詞深感共鳴。累:"我沒有辦法想像我接下來的人生二十年﹑三十年﹐ 我都不停的穿衣服﹑脫衣服﹐在台上走來走去的。 這種感覺會讓我覺得......會讓我覺得很空虛。雖然﹐ 我不知道我要的是甚麼﹐但是我很清楚的知道我不要的是甚麼。"

我好喜歡這部劇﹐ 也許就是應為我非常的象累。 有始至終﹐ 我深深的懷疑我真的不曉得我的夢想是甚麼。 就象累﹐ 我往往知道我不要甚麼但我真的並不知道我要的是甚麼。 雖然說我對我的工作(之前的﹐之後是否會回去現在是個疑問應為將會面臨的問題應該會很多)不反感﹐但同樣的﹐ 我真的無法相信在未來的每一天﹐我就靠著看病人﹑寫報告而謀生。 更無法想象我需要在付出多少代價才能夠繼續在這行生存。 相信我對我的工作是有一份感情的﹐ 不然﹐ 我就不會常常為了它而絞盡腦汁﹐奮鬥﹐甚至落淚。 但現在存在我滿是迷茫的腦海中是一個疑問:我到底適不適合這份工作而是否願意付出任何代價持續下去呢? 我非常不適合這種富有規律性的工作也真的不是甚麼讀書的料。 應對著這種只看文憑和成績的行業﹐ 我真的就快窒息了。這真的是我的夢想嗎?

記得小時候有好多志願。第一份志願就是要當模特兒吧。 那是我三歲左右的事了。當天阿姨帶我到伊勢丹購物﹐碰巧有一場時裝秀。 看著美麗的阿姨們滿滿信心的﹐穿著華麗的衣裳在伸展台上走著﹐ 我真的是傻眼了﹗更棒的是﹐在秀的結尾﹐這些阿姨們都拿著一籃籃的花分給現場的小朋友們﹐ 我就分到了一朵又大又亮麗的向日葵﹗好開心哦﹗在回家的途中﹐我就問了阿姨好多關於這份工作的問題﹐並把它當成我的夢想與目標﹗當然﹐這並沒實現﹐ 因為之後﹐我有了許多其他的想法(但好像都有些不切實際!:p)﹐ 甚麼演員啦﹐太空員啦﹐教授啦等等。重來就沒想當心理學家的。真的是好僥倖入了這行也奮鬥了好久。真的不希望之前的奮鬥之後換來的僅是一場空﹐ 但至今﹐我已分不清這真是我要的﹐ 還是脫離不開因為已經習慣了這樣的工作而懶得去適應其他的環境。

你的夢想是甚麼? 你懂嗎? 若真的知道﹐就恭喜你﹐並希望你儘快達成所願!

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July the 12th 2007...

Hehe.... today is a special day in Fluffy's world of entertainment!! It is the day when my long awaited "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" is officially screened and when my most desired album" 落葉歸根" is officially released!!!! Nothing better to describe my feelings now other than excited excited excited!!! Hee hee........

Noveau!!!!

低落人生

今天情緒超低沉。 獨自逛著街﹐ 到了一間露天咖啡廳享用咖啡。 欣賞著碧海與藍天﹐ 心中隱藏著許多複雜的情緒但腦袋卻是空空的。若把人生比喻成一盤棋﹐我想我應該是不知覺的下錯了許多步﹐ 而是到了知道自己沒甚麼神算時才在那暗自煩惱而在拼命想方式挽救。我討厭這種不被重視而常常需要儘量作到最完美來取得別人肯定的生活方式。感覺好累﹐好厭倦﹗

回到家就窩冷氣房里﹐ 持續延播著"熱情仲夏"而開始設計首飾。仿彿想逃離現實而進入一個幻想中的虛幻世界。 情緒低潮時﹐也往往都利用一些與藝術有關的方式來安撫心情比如彈彈琴﹐ 聽聽音樂﹐ 創作東西甚麼的 (好奇怪喔)雖心情始終沒轉變但還是想分享一下我近期的一些創作。 好好欣賞吧!

唉! 為甚麼在眾多的劇中﹐ 一些平凡不起眼的女生不但可以感動到擁有模特兒般的臉孔與身材(那當然吧﹐ 這些演員常常都是模特兒出身啊﹗)並品學兼優的男生而且還能夠把這些男生原本討厭的個性慢慢的改變過來?? 常常聽人家說"戲如人生﹐人生如戲"﹐ 我認為若這是真的﹐我想戲應該是人生的夢與憧憬吧。美好的劇情讓人產生希望而開始陶醉在夢幻中﹐把自己聯想為那女主角﹐期望自己的人生也會有這般美麗的結局。怪不得劇集往往那麼受歡迎。看一部電視劇﹐擁有一份希望吧!
P。S。 我應該真的是一位愛幻想的女生吧﹐ 有人說過我的主修其實是看連續劇﹐ 副修才是心理學﹐我漸漸開始相信這位朋友了!!!!

等待

昨天﹐費了好多時間等待接駁車時﹐在煩躁的當於﹐ 不僅在腦海里浮現了許多問號。 等待﹐ 人生到底要經歷多少等待? 甚麼時候應該放棄? 甚麼時候應該堅持? 堅持多久才﹐ 經歷多少波折才該放棄。堅持好嗎? 堅持真的就會等待到所要的那一個機會﹐ 那一份戀情嗎? 執著是因為已經習慣了等待嗎? 若最終真的得到夢寐以求的﹐ 真的就會快樂嗎? 還是說會不知所措因為早已習慣了期待的感覺? 期待中所承受的那倦意又值得嗎? 人生啊人生﹐ 你真是一個謎啊!

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Spring cleaning

I am not really a tidy person... not really messy but let's say I have a relatively high tolerance for messiness (I happen to be a very tolerant person for a variety of things). I hate spring cleaning..... specifically the dust coming from the things that I am packing.... I have allergies to irritants such as dust... with the exposure to these allergents, it means skin itchiness and redness, teary eyes and stuffy nose..... hence I hate cleaning the house. Usually I start to spring clean only when I need to (the messiness is beyond my tolerance) or when I am confused and troubled.

The troubled mind is like a messy room.... confusing thoughts lingering and clouding your senses, creating a sense of discomfort. Thinking through the problems and organising your thoughts is just like packing your room, throwing away things that needed to be dumped and tidying up those that you wish to keep. Of course, the process of organising your thoughts is a lot more difficult then tidying up your room physically. The physical act of cleaning up the house may just be a therapeutic process where you have the ability to exert control over the mess and to create a comforting physical environment for yourself.

Recently, thoughts of tidying up the house is frequently on my mind and I had been furiously organising my things. Books to go to where they belong on the bookshelves, unwanted and old books to the recycling bin, clothes to be back in the cupboards where they belong, bags to be stored back in their little pouches and kept back in the cabinet, even files in my laptop are organised into the relevant folders. Yet with all these, I am not comforted. I am feeling the blues again. Life changing decisions to make, uncertain future to face, frustrating situations to face..... how have I allowed so many confusing and scary thoughts and emotions to grow in my mind and now cloud it, I do not know. Perhaps, spring cleaning should be done more frequently to prevent accumulation and creation of such messy thoughts... but clearly, it is now time for me to tidy up all that is in my mind..... it may take a long time, it may take quite a bit of effort.... but it is definitely time.........

My Taiwan Trip!

taipei taipei taipei

A city approximately 5 hours away from Singapore...... many sights to see, food to savour, stars to look out for (according to my friend). I made my way there, third time visit to this city.....walking around to many parts of the city, to the many sights that I had missed during my previous trips... visit numerous malls to look for dvds, cds, books, shoes and masks I like (there is really nothing much for me to buy in Taipei.... their things are really expensive I find!!!)......trying to count how many pretty girls I can see at each area (thanks to my good friend, she asked me if all Taiwanese girls are as pretty as those you find in the drama serials... I am trying to find an answer to that... I guess my answer is no.. like any other cities, there are good looking people and there are not so good looking people..... ).... keeping my eyes open for stars (I was so disappointed that I didn't see any... sigh..... ) and trying hard not to say anything (I actually look like a local if I don't talk, people come up to me to ask for directions and a salesperson even commented that I look like a Taiwanese until I start to talk....time to brush up my Mandarin!!!).... 6 days of escape... although boredom did hit me several times, it was not too bad a trip..... I did not like it at the beginning...the weather was too hot, the malls were too boring, the places are too dirty, the hotel was so-so... but the place just grew on me slowly and I was really reluctant to come back...... keeping my fingers crossed for my next visit where I hope to visit more places and other outlying towns!!!!! :)

Lessons from my jet setting lifestyle....

I have just returned from my Taipei trip......... this is my third trip out of Singapore in the past 2 months..... taking the plane has became like taking the public transport for me recently (for those who knows me, I rarely go out of my neighbourhood and since it is the hols now, there is even less reasons for me to step out of my house)...... with all these travelling, relaxing and holidaying, I think I am beginning to discover more and more about myself.....

1) I lead a really privileged lifestyle and I think I have reached a stage where I will not be able to give it up easily.....I used to wonder to myself, why does everyone want to be rich... I am never a slave for money and I am not one that really know the value of money, but I am slowly beginning to understand that this is due to my priviledged background. To me, it is like the norm to travel regularly, to buy labels, to eat at restaurants etc.. hence there is no longer a burning desire to need to join the money chase. I used to think that one should enjoy while they have a chance to and should I lose what I have, I shall just lead a simpler life without all these luxuries that I have now..... but seriously, who am I trying to kid?? Why do the young and pretty (and maybe famous starlets) end up with some rich, divorced, ugly and old guy?? I guess it is to maintain the lifestyle that they are used to (it is an expensive job being pretty!!! :P) Seriously, I think I am going to have really bad adjustment problems if I were to change my lifestyle now!!!!!

2) I love to buy skincare products....... especially masks.... perhaps it is the trauma of having bad skin previously, perhaps it is vanity, perhaps it is the huge amount of free time I have, perhaps, it is the relaxing feeling of putting on a mask..... I just love buying skincare products and my friend has commented that I am a mask freak!!!!

3) I love dressing up but not in Singapore... I have a whole range of strange clothes (aka my travel clothes) that I own just to wear them when I travel ... these items actually look strange only when they are worn in Singapore....

4) My burning desire to travel stems from my escapist attitude..... I have been to many places many times and there are no longer anymore sights to see or anything much to do.. but I am always game to go there again.... just to get away from my regular, mundane life and sometimes the problems and fears that I am facing at that moment in time......

5) I am a city girl..... I think I can probably survive in any major cities, in fact, I do the same things in any major cities, eat, shop, shop, eat.... I eat the same stuff (usually Jap food).... shop at the same brands and buy the same stuff..... modernization has really brought us nearer...

I don't know where the airplane will bring me to next, however, I do hope that it is some place where I will be looking forward to, a place where I will have a chance to do something different from all my previous trips.........

My jewellery creations!!!

Leaping through time....

I recently watched an interesting Japanese animation entitled "The Girl who leapt through time"....just as its title, the story is about a girl who suddenly acquired the ability to go back into the past. After she realised this ability of hers who allowed her to escape her death once, she used it to carry out a lot of silly things..... for example, to avoid situations that she is unable to handle... to avoid the mishaps that she had previously happened to her etc etc..... eventually, some unfortunate incidents happened and made her realised that how important it is to stop being avoidant and face up with the present.





Should there be a day where you suddenly acquired the ability to relive your past, what would you want to change?? This is not the first time that I had thought about this question. Surprisingly, despite all my frequent grumbles of "I should have done this", "I wished I did this instead", if I were given a chance to go back into the past, I don't think I want to change anything. I think i am rather happy with what I have achieve and what I have currently... my experience with life had been pretty satisfactory too...... but the most important part... isn't life itself about hope and the future??? There is really no point trying to relive the past.... hoping to change something in the past for it is the looking forward and hope for the future that makes life worth living........ leaping through time to the past .. isn't that akin to living a life of regrets... always desiring to make some changes to our past??? There are always happy moments and sad moments, good things that had happened and nasty things that had happened.... every experience is a process that makes us a little wiser and adds more unforgettable moments to our memories.... changing the past will not mean that everything will just go according to what we hope had happened.... still both good and bad experiences will befall us...... perhaps that is what that makes our lives exciting....... let's all look ahead to the future and bravely await all the exciting moments that may come!!!!!

Timelessness

How many of you go out with your brother frequently?? I am one of those that would hang out with my younger brother frequently, going out for tea. shopping, movies etc.... as we are both not working and pretty free most of the time, we usually just sought each other's company for last minute outings like those mentioned above. A strange phenomenon has occured recently......it has been more than once that others thought that he is my boyfriend (someone went even further and thought that he was my husband!!!!).... this kind of mistake may not be uncommon, however, what is strange in my case is the age gap between me and my brother is a huge 10 years!!! I really do not know how to react when comments like that are made..... does it mean that I should rejoice because I look a lot younger then my age? Does it mean that my brother should seriously think of investing in a good anti-aging product?? Does it mean that there is a trend that old women will date men a lot younger then them??? Or does it mean that I have really reach a stage that I really should be dating seriously and any guy that I hang out with will be considered by others to be my life partner??? I really do not know what to think!!!!

I would love to think that I have not aged and still look a lot younger then what I am... however, I was just browsing through my photo albums today and..... I really did age quite a bit over the years...... I am not longer the sweet, youthful, pretty and cheerful girl that is staring back at me from the album!!! No wonder I seemed to have lost the interest in photograph taking....... it seemed that I am no longer photogenic as before....... then which of the other 3 options is it??? Do give me your opnion if you can while I go ponder somemore over this...... :P

I miss you.....

I was crying this morning when I woke up after dreaming of my granny. Coincidentally, today is her first year death anniversary.

My granny was this petite lady that I had stayed with for most of my childhood. She adores me as I was her first grandchild. I used to play lots of pranks on her and bully her into giving me what I want as a child. As she was not really a culinary expert, I remember the routine dishes of fried fish, beans and eggs with salted vegetables that she would cook for me. Even as I shifted back to stay with my parents as I grew older, she continues to visit me regularly with all the goodies that she will bring and the extra pocket money that she will secretly pass me (needless to say, I really love her visits..)... I would stay with her sometimes during my school holidays as well and we will go out to the shops together.

Soon, I grew up and started to have a life of my own, the need to spend time on my school work, with my friends and other frivolities of life... I started to see her less and less........ she started to grow older in the process as well and visits became less....... then she developed dementia. The times I visited her became the once in a year Chinese New Year and when she visited my hospital for regular checkups (my ex bosses are actually her neurologists!!). I really wished that I had spent more time with her when I still had the chance but I guess I shall live with that regret now.

I miss you, granny,....... though you do not say it, I know you have always doted on me and was really proud of me. I knew you were glad that I got into the university and eventually got a "good job" working in a hospital... it is as if everything I had achieved no matter how tiny it is became a big big deal in your eyes!!! Thanks for all that reassurance that you have given me. Even when the late stages of dementia plagued you, I knew you never forgotten me. You always manage to call out my name when you saw me along the hallways in the clinics and would want to bring me out to eat (to the amazement of my ex-bosses). I really miss you... whereever you are now, I hope you are well and will remain happy there!!

Excess..... accessories.... jewels.... jewellery......

I love jewellery...... how is that different from many other ladies out there who love these sparkly trinkets?? The main difference is, I enjoy making them rather then wearing them..... This is actually kind of strange.... for those with know me, I don't think I qualify as one of those that accessorise heavily (I think I am improving recently!! Hehe..) I have a platinum chain with a rocking horse charm that I wear regularly for the past decade or so...I do have a large number of earrings that I match with my attire....and a Tiffani and Co bracelet that I do wear once in a while (a very long while)... so why am I interested in jewellery making???

I guess it started a pretty long time ago(just that I didn't realize till recently).. being a teenager, I didn't have the ability to purchase all the accessories that I like, so I would often think of how I could reproduce the item I like... the result of this is multiple pairs of earrings, some strange looking furry cow print pencil case, pouches etc.... this all stopped for a long while after I started working.... I don't know what got into me and there was one occasion when I decided that I wanted to make one of my friends something for her birthday... and I ended up with a crystal garnet necklace earrings set... this went on for a long while...farewell gifts for colleagues, christmas gifts, birthday gifts etc....the person that got dumped the most of my pieces would be my pretty stewardess best friend Sharon.... she loves to accessorize and would pay crazy prices for accessories....I decided that I could make her some similar pieces so that she could perhaps save a bit on accessories (this ploy didn't work though.... now she just owns loads of jewellery.... many from me and many more that she purchase... :P) I just go on making more and more.....

I think jewellery making just allows me to have an outlet for my creative juices to flow....perhaps there is some hidden desire in me to want to be a designer and in designing and handmaking all these pieces, I get transported to my bubbly world where I believe that I am indeed a designer.... for someone with no design background, I think I am really not doing so badly!!!! It helps me relieve stress and boredom as well..... what can one do in 3 and a half months of summer hols??? I can't keep shopping, reading, watch movies or travel..... rather than staring into space, I guess this is a better option..... I do hope that someday this hobby of mine will take me somewhere but I guess this dream is still a bit far now.. in any case, I remain hopeful!!!!!

Take a look at my slide show of some of my designs past and present (I am really sorry that I am not too great a photographer!!) Drop me a line if you like any of them!!!!! :)

Check out my Slide Show!

The new blogger in town

I am not new to this..... I have been blogging away on Friendster for a couple of months... however, recently, a good friend of mine has been asking me to get a proper blog ...... and I was tempted by all the cool pics that can be displayed on a blog site... hence.... hehe..... this...

Well.... why Fluffy's carosel......for those who know me, I have a number of nicknames and Fluffy is the most recent endearment given to me by my colleagues from my hospital (I don't know what kind of impression I am giving... when doctors, nurses and psychologists nickname you Fluffy... hmm.... it must mean something, yah?? But, I refuse to think too much..... positive reframing... I am popular with them... haha)... carousel... don't you just love them?? I realise that I really love carousels.... I have 2 carousel charm necklaces, a horsy necklace and, it is one of the few rides that I will not miss when I visit theme parks (ask jady.. she queued with me for more then an hour to get on the Alfafa carousel in DisneySea.. :P).... sitting on the horse and watching the world spinning by you seemed to give you a whole new perspective of this world..... round and round and round and round as if you are floating in a whole new world of your own..... plus the lovely bright colours and the mirrors...... a chance to look at all the different images of yourself...... and getting lost in the music and movement of it.............. totally out of the world experience.... haha...

So.. I will be blogging on this new lovely site now.....you are welcome to join me in all my new adventures!!!!! :)